Post by Riker Tarret on Jan 1, 2011 20:11:20 GMT -6
Teacher Application
Name: Riker Tarret
Class you would like to teach: Battle Magic
Did you attend Hogwarts?: Yes
Favorite house?:Ravenclaw
Would you like to be head of house?: If their isn't one already
House preferred:Ravenclaw
2nd preferred: Slytherin
"The Hungarian Horntail is taller than a dozen men! It breathes fire so quickly and so accurately that it can melt a Snitch in midflight! One Killing Curse will bring it down.
The Mountain Troll is more dangerous than the Hungarian Horntail! It is strong enough to bite through steel! Its skin is tough enough to deflect Cutting Charms! Its sense of smell is so acute that it can tell from afar whether its prey is part of a pack, or alone and vulnerable! Most fearsome of all, the troll is unique among magical creatures in continuously maintaining a form of Transfiguration on itself - it is always transforming into its own body. If you somehow succeed in ripping off its arm it will grow another one within seconds! Fire and acid will produce scar tissue which can temporarily confuse a troll's regenerative powers - for an hour or two! They are smart enough to use clubs as tools! The mountain troll is the third most perfect killing machine in all Nature! One Killing Curse will bring it down.
Your third-year defense textbook will suggest to you that you expose the mountain troll to sunlight, which will freeze it in place. This is the sort of useless knowledge that you will never find on one of my exams. You do not encounter mountain trolls in open daylight! The idea that you should use sunlight to stop them is the result of textbook authors trying to show off their mastery of minutia at the expense of practicality. Just because there is a ridiculously obscure way of dealing with mountain trolls does not mean you should actually try to use it! The Killing Curse is unblockable, unstoppable, and works every single time on anything with a brain. If, as an adult wizard, you find yourself incapable of using the Killing Curse, then you can simply Apparate away! Likewise if you are facing the second most perfect killing machine, a Dementor. You just Apparate away!
Unless, of course, you are under the influence of an anti-Apparition jinx. No, there is exactly one monster which can threaten you once you are fully grown. The single most dangerous monster in all the world, so dangerous that nothing else comes close. The adult wizard. That is the only thing that will still be able to threaten you.
You are here to learn how to defend yourselves. Which means, let us be very clear on this, defending yourselves against Dark Wizards. People with wands who want to hurt you and who will likely succeed in doing so unless you hurt them first! There is no defense without offense! There is no defense without fighting! This reality is deemed too harsh for students by the overpaid, Auror-guarded politicians who mandated your curriculum. You are here for the class that has been taught at Hogwarts for eight hundred years! Welcome to your first year of Battle Magic!"
That is my pitch for the Battle Magic class, put together with the help of HPMOR.
Name: Riker Tarret
Class you would like to teach: Battle Magic
Did you attend Hogwarts?: Yes
Favorite house?:Ravenclaw
Would you like to be head of house?: If their isn't one already
House preferred:Ravenclaw
2nd preferred: Slytherin
"The Hungarian Horntail is taller than a dozen men! It breathes fire so quickly and so accurately that it can melt a Snitch in midflight! One Killing Curse will bring it down.
The Mountain Troll is more dangerous than the Hungarian Horntail! It is strong enough to bite through steel! Its skin is tough enough to deflect Cutting Charms! Its sense of smell is so acute that it can tell from afar whether its prey is part of a pack, or alone and vulnerable! Most fearsome of all, the troll is unique among magical creatures in continuously maintaining a form of Transfiguration on itself - it is always transforming into its own body. If you somehow succeed in ripping off its arm it will grow another one within seconds! Fire and acid will produce scar tissue which can temporarily confuse a troll's regenerative powers - for an hour or two! They are smart enough to use clubs as tools! The mountain troll is the third most perfect killing machine in all Nature! One Killing Curse will bring it down.
Your third-year defense textbook will suggest to you that you expose the mountain troll to sunlight, which will freeze it in place. This is the sort of useless knowledge that you will never find on one of my exams. You do not encounter mountain trolls in open daylight! The idea that you should use sunlight to stop them is the result of textbook authors trying to show off their mastery of minutia at the expense of practicality. Just because there is a ridiculously obscure way of dealing with mountain trolls does not mean you should actually try to use it! The Killing Curse is unblockable, unstoppable, and works every single time on anything with a brain. If, as an adult wizard, you find yourself incapable of using the Killing Curse, then you can simply Apparate away! Likewise if you are facing the second most perfect killing machine, a Dementor. You just Apparate away!
Unless, of course, you are under the influence of an anti-Apparition jinx. No, there is exactly one monster which can threaten you once you are fully grown. The single most dangerous monster in all the world, so dangerous that nothing else comes close. The adult wizard. That is the only thing that will still be able to threaten you.
You are here to learn how to defend yourselves. Which means, let us be very clear on this, defending yourselves against Dark Wizards. People with wands who want to hurt you and who will likely succeed in doing so unless you hurt them first! There is no defense without offense! There is no defense without fighting! This reality is deemed too harsh for students by the overpaid, Auror-guarded politicians who mandated your curriculum. You are here for the class that has been taught at Hogwarts for eight hundred years! Welcome to your first year of Battle Magic!"
That is my pitch for the Battle Magic class, put together with the help of HPMOR.